"It seemed as if someone sent you to me and as if you knew me we picked up where we left off in another life."
-"Ever Since" by Lesley Gore
.....(I found myself) walking down a narrow street where I heard someone playing Joni Mitchell's "A Case of You" on a sterio or cd player high above my head. That song, the memory of that song, the lyric "You are in my blood like holy wine, you taste so bitter and so sweet. I could drink a case of you and still be on my feet...I would still be on my feet." (J. Mitchell) haunted me and became an animated collage sequence in which I became the central walking figure in this surreal journey through the neighborhood, accompanied by warm, embracing spirits: warm, protective, ancient......
an active animated hallucination, another of my many deja-vus.
Reality/dream now blur but the feeling of a kind of holy communion with the elements of music, landscape, architecture, presence, history and great love continued to companion me.....waking and looking at the sea and feeling an ancient part of it all.
...and...once again I became clearer, more certain, of how deep, profound and what a blessing, this love I have shared with him has lifted me higher.
The strength, beauty of JPP and I together will never be diminished inside me.
Everyday I can keep loving him more than I did the day before.
My ultimate act of selflessness,unselfishness, in the name of loving...loving him.
I could begin to take it in, be present in his absence, really experience what he had taught me, experience love with him right there and then with me, walking my journey with me.
March.2011.
